Part 1: The Role of the Christian Husband
1. For us men to grow as part of the pastoral team for
our family, we must understand more clearly our role as a husband.
We need to understand what is our responsibility.
 a)
For many of us, our understanding of responsibility (in business,
civic
affairs,
etc.) is one-sided, ie: we equate it with having a position
in
which
we have authority and we manage or direct things.
 Responsibility
does involve the above, but there is another side, one
that
is often overlooked or perhaps ignored.
b)
The other side of responsibility is accountability.
Heb
13:17. "to give an account".
Thus
there are two parts to responsibility: Not only do we men have
God's
authority to get things done, but we will be held accountable
for
what
we have been given to do.
2. The dictionary definition of "accountable" suggests
the imminence of retribution for an unfulfilled trust or violated
obligation. In other words, if we do not do what God gives
us to do, then we can expect to be punished.
a)
The parable of the talents. Mt 25:14-30.
b)
God expects us to act, but He does not give us anything that
we
cannot
do.
c)
Also, God does not hold us accountable for things beyond our
control
(situations,
people's lives). We are accountable just to the extent
that
we
can change things and keep things under control.
Part 2: Role of the Christian Wife
1. There is much confusion today regarding the role
of women.
a)
Secularists and feminists today reject the traditional understanding
of
the
role of women.
b)
And particularly in marriage, many people today no longer accept
the
traditional
roles of women as wife and mother.
2. We need to study and understand God's original purpose for a woman.
a)
Gen 2:18-24. Woman was made to be a suitable partner or
a
helpmate
for man.
b)
Eph 5:22-24. A wife is to be subordinate (submissive) to
her husband.
Of
course there ought to be mutual subordination (Eph 5:21), which
arises
out of their being equal in worth and dignity as children of
God.
But
as far as roles are concerned, the woman has her God-given role
in
marriage.
3. God's purpose in the woman's being a helpmate and subordinate is unity
in marriage, that the couple will pursue one goal, one life, one vision.
Part 3: Effective Communication in Marriage
1. Through the talks so far, we have been learning how
to foster better marriages. But in marriage, we can expect
to have difficulties and disagreements.
a)
We need a mechanism with which to resolve such disagreements.
This
mechanism
is communication.
b)
But more than just a tool for problem-solving, communication
is a
means
to express love in marriage.
2. The husband-wife relationship is a love relationship.
a)
It is a personal, lifelong, stable commitment to love and serve
one
another.
b)
It is important to express that love.
Sexually,
giving gifts, making a home, serving. There are many ways.
One
of the more important ways is communication.
3. Communication in marriage is more than just learning a skill. It is not
sterile or functional.
a)
While communication serves some basic functions (conveying
facts,
giving
information, fostering understanding), we communicate with
our
spouse
in order to love and serve him/her.
b)
Communication is one concrete expression of love. It
is a very
important
tool for building the marriage relationship.
Part 4: Building our Homes for God
1. Our task as Christian couples is to build our homes
for God.
a)
We do not act as Christians simply when we are in church, but
also
when
we are in the privacy of our homes.
b)
In this talk, we will look at a vision or picture of how God
wants our
homes
to be, and also some suggestions as to how we can go about
building
our homes for God.
2. What is a Christian home? What are some of its elements?
a)
A Christian home provides the environment that allows us to raise
a
Christian
family.
b)
It is the center of our Christian life.
In
the home we have prayer, fellowship, hospitality, teaching and formation.
c)
It is a source of stability for our family members.
We
have roots and a strong sense of belonging and security.
d)
It provides the framework for patterns of our relationships
in the larger community.
Cooperation
rather than competition.
Faith
rather than fear.
Sharing
rather than greed.
Love
rather than self-concern.
e)
It is our center and base for evangelization.
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Hope-filled Parenting - Journeying
with children and teens who have experienced the loss of
a parent
When a family experiences the loss of a parent either
through death or a marriage that has dissolved, it can be a challenging
time for both parents and children. Oftentimes single parents
can feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of being a lone
parent and it may appear as if they have to handle everything
on their own. The good news is that parents can respond effectively
to the changes at hand for both themselves as well as their children.
The journey of a single parent is no longer one of uncharted
territory. The Hope-filled Parenting Workshop will explore:
The
experiences of parents, children and teens in a single-parent family
context.
Ways
to respond to feelings of sadness, pain and disappointment
in healthy
ways.
Forming
a supportive network.
Self
care for the single parent.
Creating
a new way of being for the family and a continued sense of
belonging
Date: Dec 11 2007
Time: 8:00 to 10:00pm
Speaker: Kelvyanne Teoh
Kelvyanne Teoh is a Counsellor and Head
of Programmes and Services with Morning Star Community Services.
Kelvyanne has worked in a residential facility with girls and
their families struggling with eating disorders, depression,
anxiety and personality disorders among other problems. In
her capacity as therapist, Kelvyanne helped develop experiential
groupwork programmes and provided in-depth individual, family
and group counselling.
Among the family-focused programmes/talks that Kelvyanne has designed, facilitated
or delivered are: Common Sense Parenting® Programme (12-hour
programme on a proven, step-by-step guide for raising responsible kids and
building happy families); Tuning In to My Child (Guiding parents in managing
power struggles); Creating Buy-In (Growing children's and teen's internal motivation);
Love Talks! (Identifying and using the five love languages to grow a child's
self esteem); Parenting with Significance Fathering Workshop and Parenting
with Meaning Mothering Workshops for Singapore Prisons.
Kelvyanne holds a Master of Arts degree in Counselling from the Franciscan
University of Steubenville in Ohio and the Specialist Certificate in Satir's
Systemic Transformational Therapy Model. She is also a Master trainer of the
Common Sense Parenting Programme (trained directly in the USA by Boystown USA).
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